Did I feel a little too old to be subjecting myself to a maze dedicated to one of the dumbest wide-release horror movies of the noughties? Sure! But every time I started feeling a little ancient as I waded through throngs of teenagers and early twentysomethings wearing Slipknot tees, I took pains to remind myself that I was a serious journalist doing my job.
Of course, I wasn't there for the coasters but rather the park's seasonal assortment of Halloween mazes, which feature the kind of feet-on-the-ground thrills that I find preferable to the gravity-defying loops, corkscrews and sheer drops into oblivion you experience on the former. Luckily, Universal Studios Hollywood has nothing approaching the death-defying likes of X2, though their Mummy attraction does provide a certain Space Mountain-style jolt, while Jurassic Park: The Ride ends with a sheer 85-foot drop into a “tropical lagoon.” For a scaredy-cat like me, even that relatively minor plunge tests the limits of what I can handle.
Once, at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California, I foolishly rode X2, described on the park's official website as “a trail-blazing fifth dimension roller coaster.” I can't be certain of this, but somewhere between the first 200-foot high backwards drop and the ride's merciful end, I'm pretty sure I witnessed flames shooting directly at my face. I'm also not particularly fond of the kind of monstrous, stomach-destroying roller coasters that have seemingly become more and more life-threatening with each passing year. Or at least, I loathe the interminable lines that you're forced to stand in when you visit one. Truth be told, I sort of loathe theme parks. Jason, Halloween and Krampus, in addition to a “Terror Tram” attraction “presented” by Eli Roth. Last week, I was invited to attend the opening night of Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood, which this year boasts a total of six movie and TV-themed mazes: The Exorcist, American Horror Story, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Freddy vs.
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